Best Man Speech: How to Write One That Actually Gets Remembered

What Makes a Great Best Man Speech?

Three things. It needs to be funny enough to entertain the room, sincere enough to move them, and short enough to hold their attention throughout.

The best speeches don't stay in one gear. They alternate a laugh, then a moment that means something, then another laugh, then a genuine tribute. When you hear a speech that has the room cackling one minute and going quiet the next, that rhythm is deliberate.

That's the test. If your speech could be about any groom at any wedding, it's not there yet. Your job is to make it feel personal enough that even people who don't know the groom well feel like they do by the end of it.

Best man speeches are a type of special occasion speech, but they come with their own rules, and we'll cover them all here.

How Long Should a Best Man Speech Be?

The sweet spot is four to six minutes. In written words, that's roughly 500 to 750 words.

Shorter is safer for a few reasons. Wedding receptions often have multiple speakers, the maid of honor, the father of the bride, and sometimes the groom himself. If you go long, you're not just boring the room; you're eating into everyone else's time. Four minutes is plenty to say something that matters.

If you're sharing the role as joint best men, split the speech rather than doubling the length. Each of you takes a section, and you aim for the same total runtime as a solo speech.

Best Man Speech Structure (Step by Step)

Think of the structure as: introduce yourself, make them laugh, make them say "aww," raise a glass. Here's how that breaks down in practice:

Step 1: Opening 30 seconds

Introduce yourself and establish your relationship to the groom. Keep it brief. The room wants to know who you are and why they should listen, not your life story.

Step 2: How You Know the Groom 1 minute

This is where you earn credibility. Give them context childhood friends, college roommates, colleagues who became close. A line or two about the history of the friendship sets up everything that follows.

Step 3: Stories About the Groom 2 to 3 minutes

This is the heart of the speech. Two or three specific, well-chosen anecdotes that tell the room something true about who he is. Not a list of memories a small collection of moments with a beginning, a middle, and a point.

Step 4: Acknowledging the Couple 30 to 60 seconds

Transition from the groom to the couple. Why are they right for each other? What changed in him when she came along? This is the "aww" moment.

Step 5: The Toast 30 seconds

Land on a sincere note, raise the glass, and say something simple and memorable. You don't need a big finish a genuine wish for them is enough.

Think of the structure as: introduce yourself, make them laugh, make them say aww, raise a glass.

For tips on structure basics that apply across occasions, the speech format basics guide is worth a read.

How to Start a Best Man Speech

Your first sentence sets the tone for everything that follows. Start warm, not desperate.

Three opening approaches that work:

The funny one-liner

A short, self-aware line that gets a laugh and relaxes the room. Example: "When [groom's name] asked me to be his best man, I said yes immediately. I've been regretting it ever since."

The intriguing teaser

Drop a hint about a story without giving it away yet. Example: "There are three things [groom's name] told me never to mention in this speech. I'm going to mention all three."

The callback setup

Reference something everyone in the room knows about the groom a habit, a phrase, a running joke. It signals to the crowd that you actually know him.

What to avoid:

Keep this section clearly in best man territory for a broader look at all wedding speech openings. Check our guide on how to start a speech.

How to Find the Right Stories About the Groom

This is the part most people get stuck on. You know dozens of stories but which ones belong in the speech?

Start with these prompts:

• What's the most ridiculous thing you've done together that he'd still laugh about?
• What moment made you think, "yep, he's going to marry this person"?
• What story proves something true about who he is not just something funny that happened?
• When has he surprised you?

Once you have a list, run each story through this filter:

What to avoid: inside jokes that exclude the room, anything that embarrasses the bride or her family, stories involving ex-partners, and anything that happened under circumstances he'd rather not have on record in front of his in-laws.

Best Man Speech Humor What Works (and What Tanks)

There's a spectrum. At one end, gentle teasing that everyone laughs at, including the groom. At the other end, jokes that make people uncomfortable and draw glances toward the bride's family. You want to stay well clear of that second end.

Safe zones:

• Embarrassing but harmless stories (he was terrible at cooking, he got lost on the way to the venue for your first road trip)
• His most loveable quirks
• The dynamic of your friendship things you do, arguments you've had, jokes between you

Off limits:

• Past relationships or exes full stop
• Anything involving drugs, excessive drinking, or legal trouble
• His worst mistakes, especially ones his new in-laws don't need to know about
• Anything that makes the bride or her family uncomfortable

The "would his mum cringe?" test is genuinely useful. Before you commit to a joke, picture his mother's face as you say it. If you can see her cringing, cut it.

Best Man Speech as a Brother Specific Tips

Being his brother changes the dynamic in a few ways. You have more shared history than almost anyone in that room, which means you have better material. You also carry more emotional weight there's an expectation of something that means something, not just laughs.

Lean into the shared childhood, the sibling rivalry, the pride that's harder to say out loud. You don't need to convince the room you love him they can feel it. Your job is to let them in.

A useful transition: "Growing up, I thought he was the most annoying person alive. Turns out I was right. But here's the thing about growing up with your best friend..."

What to avoid: just listing memories without connecting them to who he is now. A list of childhood moments without any thread through them doesn't build to anything. Each memory should tell us something about the man at the front of the room today.

How to End a Best Man Speech

The close is a shift from humor to something genuine. You don't need to abandon the lightness entirely, but the final note should land on something real.

Then, brief wishes for them as a couple. Then the toast. Keep it simple and memorable.

For broader techniques on closing a speech with impact, our guide on how to end a speech goes deeper.

Best Man Speech Dos and Don'ts

Common Best Man Speech Mistakes

Even people who prepare well make some of these. Knowing them in advance is half the battle.

• Making it about yourself. Watch your pronoun count. If every sentence starts with "I," you've lost the plot. The speech is about him, not your friendship history as seen through your eyes.
• Running too long. Past the six-minute mark, you're not getting more appreciation you're losing it. Every extra minute is a gift you take rather than give.
• Not practicing out loud. A speech that reads well on paper can feel completely different when you're saying it. You need to hear it in your own voice to know where it works and where it doesn't.
• Trying to be a stand-up comedian when you're not. If you're funny in real life, great let that come through naturally. If you're not a natural comedian, don't try to write a comedy set. One or two genuine laughs beat five attempts that land flat.
• Forgetting to mention the bride. This is more common than you'd think, and it's noticeable. She's at the wedding too.

The biggest mistake isn't bombing a joke it's not preparing at all.

Best Man Speech Examples

Here are two short excerpts one humor-forward, one more heartfelt with notes on what each is doing.

For more examples across different speech types, check out our speech examples blog. 

Conclusion

A great best man speech isn’t about being the funniest person in the room or delivering a flawless performance; it’s about balance.

When you keep it personal, stay within the time limit, choose stories that reveal who the groom truly is, and end with a sincere tribute to the couple, the speech does its job. Prepare it, practice it out loud, and remember that your role is to celebrate, not to steal the spotlight.

If the room laughs, goes quiet at the right moments, and raises their glasses with genuine warmth at the end, you’ve done it right.